Routine can save us in Bereavement

How Routine Can Save Us

Benefits of Routine

When the rest of life is chaos, a routine can save our sanity (and our schedule).

In times of grief, we often feel like we’re floating around in a sea of change, tossed about by the waves of emotion with no clear navigation for where to go next. Helpful habits can ground us in our lives today and help us set a course for where we want to end up tomorrow. If anything, they keep us from treading water and help us be intentional about our lives.

Daily or weekly routines, however simple, can benefit us in many ways:

Creates stability

When our emotional world is less than stable, having a structure in our day to day is crucial to finding our balance again. Outer support translates to inner support.

Necessary stuff gets done

Taking time to identify the necessaries and build them into our routine means we don’t have to worry about whether or not they’re getting done or rearranging things to make room in our schedule because they’re already there. If we can build in daily habits that make us feel good, we’ll also be more efficient in the necessary things. Feeling good = doing good.

Ownership and confidence

Prioritizing what’s important to us and doing those things consistently gives us self-reliance and belief in ourselves, which can be challenging to build back up after a loss. When we organize our lives the way we want it keeps us from allowing our lives to be inadvertently organized by other people or circumstances.

Fewer decisions to make

At a time when our lives are full of decisions we’re forced to make, the fewer options we give ourselves the better. Creating a routine that works for us, however simple, helps us go with the flow without getting stuck in uncertainties.

Builds momentum

Every day builds on the last. One good day leads to more good days and the supportive energy we generate from one positive habit flows to the next. Before we know it, we’re molding and shaping our lives for the better one little commitment at a time.

Supports learning

Practice makes better. Even if what we’re practicing is getting through the day without a major emotional roadblock, or focusing on our work, or staying positive, every time we try it we’re making progress.


Routine prevents anxiety. It keeps us from feeling restless or uneasy in our lives because we have the practice to ground us that we’ve put in place ourselves. Doing things every day that help us feel good and get where we want to go eliminates a lot of fear and angst so we can find a new normal.

Routine creates space for growth, in our daily lives and in our minds and hearts as well. If we can build one helpful habit into our day that supports us and stick to it, we’re guaranteed to see positive results in a short time.